Gifts for the parents of the bride and groom

By Wedding Offshore Team

A gift for your parents is a way to thank them for their support, whatever form that took. It does not need to be costly to be remembered. What matters is that it shows you have thought about them. This guide covers how to choose a gift, what to write in the card, when to give it and how to plan so that it is ready in good time.

Decide what you want to say

Start with the message, then choose the gift. A thank you can mean many things, so be clear about yours.

Thank you for raising me.
Thank you for your help with the wedding.
Welcome to the family, for the parents of your partner.
Something to remember the day by.

You may want to give the same kind of gift to both sets of parents, so that nobody feels overlooked. If your family situation is more complicated, such as stepparents or separated parents, think about each person individually and decide who you would like to include.

Gift ideas for parents

Choose something that suits their tastes, rather than something general.

A framed photograph. A picture of the family, or a photograph of the two of you from the day, in a frame.
A personalised keepsake. An item with names and the wedding date. Check the spelling carefully.
Something for their home. A candle, a vase, a cushion or a small piece of decoration.
A shared experience. A voucher for a meal, a day out or a hobby they enjoy.
A handwritten letter. A page or two of thanks, which many parents treasure.
Flowers. A bouquet or a small arrangement given on the day.
A matching pair. Items for two people, such as a pair of mugs or glasses.

Our range of gifts for parents is a good place to compare personalised items, and our wider wedding gifts selection has more to browse.

Write the card

A card is often what is kept, so give it a little time.

Begin with how you feel, in plain words.
Mention something specific, such as a moment, a lesson or a kindness.
Add a line about the wedding and what their help meant.
Sign it from both of you if it is a joint gift, or each write a few lines.

A few ideas for wording:

"Thank you for everything you have done to get us here."
"We could not have done this without you."
"Welcome to the family. We are so glad you are part of it."

If you want a card to match your wedding stationery, our stationery range may help. Check your spelling, names and the date before you write the card.

Choose when to give it

The timing changes how the gift feels.

Before the day. A gift delivered a week or two before can say thank you for the planning. It also takes the pressure off the day itself.
On the morning. A small gift and card, given in a quiet moment, is often well received.
At the reception. Some couples present gifts during the speeches. Check with the person speaking, and with your venue if the timing matters.
After the wedding. A gift sent once the day is over can be more relaxed, and works well if you want to include photographs.

Whichever you choose, tell someone who is helping you, so the gifts do not get lost on the day. Add it to your plan alongside the other jobs on our 12 month wedding checklist.

Plan for both families

Keep things balanced and simple.

Choose gifts of a similar kind for both sets of parents.
Write each name clearly on the packaging.
Decide who will hand over each gift and when.
Keep a spare card in case of a mistake.
Remember anyone else who has helped, such as grandparents or a relative who has done a lot.

What to check before you order

Delivery time. Ask the supplier how long it takes, especially for personalised items.
Spelling and dates. Check every name, title and date before you confirm.
Sizes and fit. If the gift is a frame or a vase, check the dimensions.
Returns. Ask what the supplier offers if something arrives damaged.
Wrapping. Ask whether the gift can be sent already wrapped, or whether you need to do it yourself.

Keep the cost down

Choose one thoughtful item rather than several small ones.
Make the card the main part of the gift.
Print a photograph yourself and buy a plain frame.
Order early, so you are not paying extra for speed.
Combine a small purchase with something you make yourself.

Next steps

Write down who is receiving a gift, pick one idea for each and draft the card. Check the delivery time and add the date you will give them to your plan.

Asked and answered

Do I have to give my parents a gift?

No. It is a gesture, not a requirement. Many couples give one as a thank you, but a heartfelt card on its own is also a lovely choice.

Should the gifts to both sets of parents match?

They do not have to match, but keeping the style similar avoids any sense of one side being favoured. Choose what suits each person.

Can I give a gift during the speeches?

Often, yes. Speak to the person hosting the speeches and to your venue about the timing, and keep it short.

What if I am not close to a parent?

Choose a simple, polite gesture, such as a card or flowers. There is no need to say more than you feel, and you can keep it short and kind.